from Xanadu to Xanax...

  I realized,  I have to have some help...Help of the chemical kind. And I hate it.  I've passed by the medicine cabinet many times without stopping, until yesterday that is.  I felt my body breaking down.  I went out yesterday to the pharmacy to pick up Ray's meds and I collapsed on the stairs in tears when I arrived back home.  So, 1 mg of Xanax seemed to be just the little bit of (and I stress 'little' bit of) relief I needed.

We received the report from Fox Chase Cancer Center.  I also spoke with the Surgeon who relayed to me the pathologists prognosis.   "The pathologist said that if you
could choose any cancer type to have, then this would be the one.  It's slow growing and usually responds well to treatment."

 

I'd say that's good news.  There are so many subtypes of lymphoma.  I plugged in his particular type in the computer and found that this type has a 90 percent cure rate...90 percent!!!!  Hell, I don't think the odds of us getting to and from work safely everyday are that high!  So, this was great news.

We meet with the oncologists on Dec. 26th.  We will find out more then.  We still have to go through a body scan and a bone marrow biopsy to see what stage we are in.  I hope its only stage 1...please pray for stage 1!!!   Ray had a lymph node removed 18 years ago from the same arm, same spot, and the lymph node was the same size. (they are golf ball size)  Being that this type of cancer is indolent (slow growing) we are sure he was misdiagnosed way back then.  When he had the node removed 18 years ago, Ray recalls having it at least 8 years prior before even having it seen about.  You'll never guess the reason why he went to the Dr back then... Jackie Onassis!  That was back when everyone was talking about how she had died of lymphoma and they were giving all the warning signs of the disease.  Ray said then "Hell, I got a huge node under my arm, better go have that bastard seen about."  Ironic, eh?  only to be misdiagnosed....damn. 

My youngest son is in town for a couple of days and will be staying with us.  We have a very nice Holiday Brunch to attend tomorrow.  It will be good to see old friends.  Mimosa's all around.  Today I seem to have a better outlook...let's hope it lasts....